Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave, Chapter 4

In which he describes the descent into addiction. He uses the model of idolatry to to trace a trajectory from being unprepared, starting a friendship, growing infatuated, loving and betraying, and finally worshipping. This is the descent from sin through slavery to tragedy.

There is a lot of good here. Pages 75-78 talks about the addict blaming and making everyone else around to feel guilty. You can try to confront but after the person shifts the blame and attacks back you are left wondering, “What just happened?”

It is good to confess where you have been wrong, even if just a little. But you don’t need to stop there. Go forward and insist that you must still maintain that the person is wrong and is his/herself and others. Don’t be an enabler. An enabler is a very nice person who smooths over the problem to make things seem better. The problem needs to be confronted, not ignored. (my comment: This is a huge flaw with many well-meaning evangelicals: they push the wife back and ask her to submit more and better in the hopes of fixing the husband’s addictions or abuse. The jerk got himself there. It breaks my heart that the church has created many enablers out of wives that should have had support and encouragement and help in confronting their sinful husband.)

Addictions may differ, but the common elements are lying, blaming others, no fear of the Lord, and blindness to sin.


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